Left Outside Alone
by beo-go-deo
Summary: Born to a dynasty of Jedi, Shauna Solo, daughter of Jacen Solo, is completely forceblind. Growing up she feels lonely and misplaced. She runs away from home in search of a new life. AU.


Disclaimer: I don't own the galaxy far, far away, nor am I making any money from this. I'm just taking my imagination for a walk in the park. Don't Sue!

Okay, this is my first venture into my favourite era to read about. I have high hopes for this story, but happen to be very lazy Hangs head in shame honest truth is no encouragement equals no writing, so if you like where this is going, please review! It will be different, anyway, whatever that means.

Notes: Very AU. I think it should also be said that I do really like Jacen Solo, he is the way he is in this chapter for a reason.

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I'm Shauna. I'm thirteen years old and I don't belong in my family. Sure, I have my mother, and my father, and I have Allana-she's my big sister. And auntie Jaina is around sometimes, like Ben. But they're not a family, they're a dynasty of warriors, heroes, legends. And then there's me. I don't belong here. Surrounded my family, I've never felt like I fit in.

_Don't get me wrong, I love them all. Love Allana especially. She's my big sister, see. Allana is the best at everything she does. It's true, she has been flying, controlling the force, doing everything that I can't do since she was little. She's going to be a Jedi. Her master is Jaina Solo, my auntie._

_Dad is the head Jedi Master at the Academy. People say that he's been through more than any other Jedi alive today._

_My mum is Tenel Ka. She's Queen Mother of sixty-three worlds. She lives with us, on Ossus, and only goes to Hapes when she's needed._

_Auntie Jaina is a Jedi Knight. She's a Goddess, a colonel, and the Sword of the Jedi, constantly fighting for a cause._

_My grandmother is Leia. She has worked all her life to build the Galactic Alliance, or New Republic as it used to be called. She was even head of government for a time. She's a Jedi Master now._

_Han is my granddad. He loves me and Allana to bits, and is so proud of everything she does. He's a general, captain of the most famous ship in the galaxy, and the rock that everyone in my family relates to._

_Uncle Luke is the grand Jedi Master, first of the New Order. He's a war hero on pretty much every planet in the galaxy. Mara is his wife. Once an assassin for a deadly emperor, she now helps Luke rule over the Jedi Order. Ben, their son, is a Jedi too. They say he has more power than half the masters put together._

_My great-granddad was prophisicised to bring balance to the Jedi force. My great-grandmother became a queen at twelve. This is my family history, this is what I must follow in the footsteps of._

_Any then there's me. I'm not a warrior, or a ruler, or even a leader of anything. I'm not even a Jedi. I'm just little baby Shauna. Compared to my family, I'm nothing. And I'll never be anything either._

_I guess you want to know why. Everyone does. Why isn't your name famous, Shauna? What is a pretty little girl like you doing with her life? Why don't you attend the Jedi Academy like your sister, and the rest of your family?_

_The answer is simple. I'm force blind, completely ignorant to the power that my family take for granted. And that simple fact has dominated my life. Growing up on Ossus, that's just about the worst disability that you can have._

_Only one person has ever called my gifted. It was Augwene, an old Dathomiri witch of my mother and sister's clan. She said that I had a talent of seeing things the way they really are. Ironic, really, that everyone else mutters "there goes the little blind girl" when I walk by._

_The rest of the clan shunned me. Mum tried not to be ashamed, she really did, but she was. I could see it in her eyes._

_Not very many people know about me. It's just the Jedi and the Insiders, really. Dad says it's for my own good, that he was kidnapped too many times as a child to risk our security. But people know about Allana. Mum and dad don't know that I know, but I know why they kept me a secret. It's not to protect me, it's to protect Allana._

_She's next in line for the throne of Hapes, see. And mum and dad think that if the Hapan nobles discover that a force-blind is next in line, they'll find a way to murder Allana and then either kill me or mould me into whatever they want me to be. Dad also thinks that there would be more kidnapping attempts if people know that there was someone so 'defenceless' so close to the Solo/Skywalkers._

_It hurts sometimes. Hurts to know that my life has been compromised in so many ways for my sister. But it's not Allana's fault that while I'm here I'll always be known as the little blind girl. That's why I need to leave._

* * *

Jacen Solo threw the datapad containing his daughters diary across the room in anger. Anger that was directed more at himself than anyone else. 

"What is that, dad?" a voice asked from the door. Allana stood, framed by the doorway, looking at her father with concern.

"It's Shauna's – It was Shauna's diary."

Jacen made no move to stop her as Allana crossed the room and picked up the diary. She read the first entry without saying a word. Her face remained emotionless as she changed the display to the final entry. Only after she had finished reading it she turned to her father and he saw that her eyes were brimming with tears.

"She's really gone, isn't she?"

Jacen did not reply, instead her folded his arms around his oldest daughter and held her tight as she cried on his shoulder.

She let him take the diary from her hand and Jacen in turn read the final entry.

_It's all planned. From Ossus I'll take one of the shuttle buses to Kashyyyk – I doubt anyone will even ask any questions. They might expect Allana to do something as spontaneous as leave without telling anybody – or one of the Barbel kids to do something as mischievous as run away – but not little Shauna._

_From Kashyyyk – I'm not really sure. I'll get a job on a ship, that part I'm sure of, and I'll work there until somewhere takes my fancy. But for now, anywhere but here. I'm leaving tomorrow.

* * *

_

Tenel Ka, who had been following her feet, was not surprised to see her husband and daughter up at this late hour, nor was she surprised at the sight of the open datapad in Jacen's hand.

"You cracked her code." She summarised.

They had been trying to access Shauna's diary for days, using a host of passwords and slicing tricks. It had been only a matter of time before something worked. Neither one answered her, but Jacen looked forlornly up at her and held up the diary for her to see.

"Read it."

"I have no wish to read her diary, thank you."

Both Jacen and Allana's heads shot up, flashes of anger apparent in their eyes.

"You don't want to know how your youngest daughter felt before she ran away? You don't want to know what pushed her over the edge? Don't want to, or don't care?" Allana shot at her mum angrily.

"I understand my daughter a lot better than you think, Allana Solo Djo. What would you have done differently? What could any of us done? Shauna was born with few options open to her in life. Shechose her path."

"I can't believe you." Allana's tone was icy. "You're proud! Proud of her! Proud that your daughter, my sister was fled here in search of a life!"

"Shauna is following her path."

"Is that all you care about? Making a difference to this stupid galaxy? What about your family?"

Before she could say anything, Allana stormed out of the room. Jacen still did not say anything, but her stared at his wife as if seeing her for the first time.

"Allana's right," he said. "You're _proud_."

"Jacen, you are reacting like a child. You need to-"

"Maybe I am," he cut her off. "But one that loves his so called family! I can't believe you!"

Without saying another word he followed his oldest daughter out of the room.

* * *

Early the next morning Jacen rose and went to visit his parents. The previous day's anger had disappeared and left him with a distinct feeling of self pity. 

When he entered the room, Han Leia and Jaina all stopped talking. Leia rose to greet her son, but her spoke before she could say anything.

"I found the keyword Shauna was using for her diary. You can read it if you'd like."

There was a moments silence as the contemplated this, before Jaina spoke up.

"No thanks, Jace."

She thought she saw a flash of anger in his eyes, but he turned away from her, to look at his parents.

"Thank you Jacen, but I won't"

Han just shook his head. Jacen looked at the all for a moment, not saying anything, until Jaina asked,

"What are you going to do now, Jace?"

"Go after her, of course," he replied, seeming surprised. "I'll bring her home and everything will go back to the way it was. See, the diary told her that she was going to get a job on one of the ships leaving Mon Cal. It's an obvious trail."

"Jacen, I don't think that that's a good idea."

"Why?" he retorted angrily. "Last week, you offered me the Falcon to go after her. What changed?"

"That was when we thought she had been kidnapped. Jacen, listen to your self. The child ran away. She was unhappy, and you want everything to return to the way it was? That's not going to work."

Jacen sagged a bit in his chair.

"But how? How could she have been so unhappy? We gave her everything she wanted! She had no reason to leave"

"Solos don't like to be kept in cages, Jacen." Han glared at his son. "She had to much spirit to stay locked up on Ossus."

" Look, this shock has left us all confused and hurt," Leia said, attempting to break the tension building in the room. "Lets not say anything we will regret later."

"No mother, dad was saying something there, he should speak his mind", Jacen said, a cloud passing over his face.

Han paused. He certainly had a great deal to say to his son, but perhaps his wife was right, there would be a better time.

"Look, Jace, all I'm saying is that you need to think things through. Think of what's best for Shauna before you go rush off and drag her home. Think of how much your relationship with her would be damaged."

"Practice what you preach, _dad_"

"Jacen, that's enough," Leia said sternly. But she could see the dark shadow on his face and knew the reason. Before Shauna's birth and for a time after, Jacen had gone through a dark time. He had taken to going off alone and a wish to dominate, to control had threatened to ruin his life. However, Jacen had shook off the dark and returned to normal life. Leia, however, had reason to believe that a lingering darkness still had a hold of her son. He had always been overprotective of his children, especially Shauna.

For a moment father and son looked at each other in silence, before Jacen abruptly got up an left the room.

Leia slowly let out her breath.

"What a mess"

Han enveloped his wife in a hug.

"Don't worry about Jacen. He'll come around. And Shauna will come back, and everything will be better than it was before."

Jaina, who had been quiet for most of the exchange, looked up at that.

"You think she will come back?"

"I know it, _mo chuisle. _It might me a month, it might be a year, but Shauna will come back, trust me on that one. I just hope Jacen doesn't do anything foolish in the time being."

"It's a big shock for him."

"Yes, but he doesn't need to take it personally like he is doing." Leia snuggled up to her husband.

"One family, always family."

* * *

mo chuisle means my darling.

If anybody has any queries or sugestions, please email me or leave me a review. I feed on random strangerly love!


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